A cookie chain just sold North America a 32-ounce cup of sugar shaped like a milkshake, and somehow it’s the fastest-moving thing on the menu.
Crumbl — the place you go for a giant rotating cookie once a week — just expanded into “dirty sodas,” and the math on one of their drinks is genuinely hard to wrap your head around. The signature offender is called Crazy Cousins: Red Bull, Mountain Dew, pineapple, strawberry purée, and coconut cream, all stacked into one 32-ounce cup.
The damage:
- 186 grams of sugar — almost half a pound
- 840 calories — in a drink
- More than five times the daily recommended sugar intake for an adult
- Roughly the sugar of five cans of Coke — or 19 Krispy Kreme donuts
In one cup. That you sip through a straw. While driving.
Wait, what is “dirty soda”?
If you’ve never heard the term, dirty soda is a Utah-born trend that exploded on TikTok. The concept is simple: take a regular soft drink, add cream, flavored syrups, fruit purées, and toppings, and turn it into a dessert you can drink. Think milkshake meets pop.
It’s been a Mormon-coded coffee alternative for years (the LDS faith discourages coffee, so caffeinated fizzy drinks filled the gap). Now Crumbl has handed it a national stage — and customizable means there’s no ceiling on how unhinged your order can get.
Their menu now has over 40 flavor combinations, plus a build-your-own option. Bases include regular soda, Red Bull “Chargers,” and a water-based “Cooler” line. Sounds fine in theory. Then you build a Crazy Cousins and learn what 186 grams of sugar feels like.
The internet is not okay
Within days of the launch going viral, people were calling for the drinks to be pulled. The Wall Street Apes account on X summed up the mood with: “This should be illegal.” Nutritionists started doing breakdowns. Parents were pointing out these are marketed alongside cookies kids already eat. The American Heart Association recommends adults cap added sugar at around 25–36 grams a day — Crazy Cousins blows past that before you’ve even finished the cup.
Crumbl, for what it’s worth, has not put out a formal response to the criticism. They’ve stayed pretty quiet on the health angle and kept leaning into the fun-shareable-experience pitch.
And the drinks are flying off the menu
Here’s the part that says everything about where we are in 2026: the backlash hasn’t slowed sales at all. The drinks are reportedly selling out at locations across the U.S. and Canada. People know exactly what’s in them. They’re ordering anyway.
It’s the same loop we keep seeing — a product gets called out for being absurd, the absurdity becomes the marketing, sales go up, the “should this be banned?” cycle becomes a free ad campaign.
The Canadian angle
Yes, we’ve had these too. Crumbl actually rolled out dirty sodas in Canada first back in July 2025 — before the U.S. pilot even started. They’re available at select Crumbl locations across Alberta, Ontario, BC, Saskatchewan, and Nova Scotia right now.
So if you’re in Vancouver or Toronto and you’ve been seeing the giant pink cups in your feed, that’s why. It’s already here. You can go order half a pound of sugar this afternoon.
So — would you actually try it?
Honest question. Is this the kind of thing you’d order once just to say you did and post a story about it? Or is it an instant hard pass the second you see the sugar number?
Because the wild part isn’t really the drink. It’s that we live in a world where a chain can post the nutrition label, get publicly roasted for it, and still sell out anyway.
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Crumbl's New "Dirty Soda" Has 186 Grams of Sugar in One Cup — and People Want It Banned
